Grief…

By Lena Trondson • November 8, 2008

I give you this one thought to keep -
I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone -
I am with you still - in each new dawn – author unknown

Where, when, how does it end? This constant feeling of emptiness and sadness….although I seem normal, most of the time, I ache and ache to see you again… The day I received the news that you were not with us any longer, I got this gashing wound in my chest…a wound that took a long time to heal…it’s not gone forever, but it wears a scab. When my memories and thoughts pick at it, opens it up again and is equally hard to mend. This is not the way it was supposed to be.. I always thought that you would be here to give me a advice, lend an ear, and a shoulder to cry on when I needed it. I am missing you so much and the future I thought I would have, disappeared with you. I really wanted you to watch my baby girl grow up to be a great lady, and I wanted her to know you for your greatness and your big heart. I talk about you all the time and hope that some of it will rub off on your grand-child. She will know who you are, but I am saddened that she will never know you. Thank you for being a great mother and a friend. I miss you so much….