Swedish vs. American Parenting
As a Swede growing up in Sweden but now living with a family in the United States of America, brings many issues about parenting to the surface. The parenting values, benefits, laws, and morals are very different between the two countries. Lately, I have been focusing on the United States family court and issues; however, this time I will present it from a Swedish point of view. Sweden is based upon a more government controlled sub-structure. The demography of Sweden is that it has a very low marriage rate, and a high age of women at their first marriage. The divorce rate is in the middle range. Half of all births are to unmarried women, but it is known that many of these take place within cohabiting unions, and the rate of teenage births is amongst the lowest. Slightly under one in five families with children is headed by a single parent. Sweden also has parental benefits such as child allowance. This is so that the parents can stay home and take care of their child(ren) for up to 480 days (only weekdays are counted towards this total). A parent on leave will be paid 80% of their income for the first 390 days and the other 60 days are exclusively for fathers. Usually the parental benefit is shared by the parents but one parent can give up their days to the other (except for 60 days). As the mother, you can start drawing the benefit 60 days before the expected delivery date. These days can be used at any time before the child reaches the age of 8. Families with children under the age of 16 will also draw a child allowance but this allowance will be extended and paid out to the child if the child continues and finishes mandatory schooling. This child allowance is currently about $100 a month per child.
When it comes to the issue of daycare, each municipality is responsible for providing daycare to children from the age of 1-12. A place should be available 3-4 months after application and children with unemployed parents or parents on parental leave should be allowed at least 3 hours per day. Sweden also has free pre-school for children 4-6 years of age or a minimum of 525 hours per year. A parent will not pay more than 3% of their household income in daycare cost per month. Of course, in order to have these benefits, Swedish workers are taxed from 30-50% on their income taxes. Most Americans would say that is outrageous but for some people, the welfare and prosperity of families and children makes it all worth it.
In the event families separate and children are involved, child custody, support and visitation also has guidelines.
More than 90% of children from separated homes in Sweden have parents that share custody and visitation 50-50.
Normally, the parents can decide on the amount of child support to be paid by the non-custodial parent but in the event an agreement can not be made, the court will step in. The average of child support paid in Sweden is estimated to be about $213/month.
Some of you might then ask, why have I decided to live here with my family when the rewards of having a child is more beneficial in Sweden? I would have to say that many factors played a role in that decision. It was difficult for my spouse to live in my home country due to the fact that he had a previous family and all of his friends back here in the US. He also has a disability, and had difficulty integrating as a foreigner. I, on the other hand, had already established a way of life, traditions, knowledge, and a love for my spouse’s country and could more easily fit into this way of life. Although, I did give up the closeness to my family and friends and the benefit of living in a very equality striven country… As a person having lived in these two extreme ways of life, I sometime can become cynical, angry, and disappointed when I am confronted with other people that can’t understand or will not have an open mind to other possibilities and outcomes. The one thing that I am so proud of about Sweden is the equality that the government, people, and children are fighting for…in contrast to the individualism and selfishness of America. This comment will probably bring down fury on me but this is my truth and my perception. As all Americans would know, that is one of their absolute valuable bill of rights. “The freedom of speech, press, and grieveances.”
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The fondue pot of crazy simmers on! Lena, see a doc, because you are mentally ill. Good night, enjoy your ProZac!!!!
Very mature, Heather