Trondson Online

5 Responses to “ Happy Birthday, Tyler & Cole ”

1. 
   kevin Feb 25th, 2010 at 05:02:22

   What a joke! Even when you used to live close to boys, you would never see them. You have not provided for those boys for years! You need to get a grip of reality and come to your senses. The only thing you have ever been angry about is having to pay child support for them! It’s obvious and all over your warped website. How about the time the judge threw you in jail for not paying child support. Or what about you emailing from Sweden and saying “good luck getting child support now!” Those boys know what a dead-beat dad you are and always will.

2. 
   Lena Trondson Feb 25th, 2010 at 09:02:42

   Kevin, you must have a very one-sided memory. The email you received from us after moving to Sweden was a response to your email stating what a dead-beat dad Brian was because he was unemployed. You spoke really badly about him being adopted and not worth anything. According to you he should have got a job at Mc Donalds selling burger, fries, and clean floors if he had to. Yeah, that would have been feasible if he wouldn’t have been medically discharged due to injuries. Even with a job at Mc Donald’s, the pay would not have been sufficient anyways. The Social Security Administration even determined him to be disabled as of August 2002 (Heather did receive back pay for this period for the boys) and the VA as of 2001. You can’t tell us now that you were not aware of the disabilities and struggles to maintain a living below poverty level because we tried to work with you over several months. You would not have anything to do with that. It was difficult at times to visit the boys due to deployments and situations in the military. If you are told to be somewhere, you don’t just say “I don’t think so” because you have other plans. The few times the 6 hour drive was manageable the boys had other plans according to Heather. Due to one month of missed child support, you and Heather took me to court and had me sentenced to jail due to an unexpected deployment. My Executive Officer was even in court trying to testify to that account. It’s amazing how this is all about money and no-one consider the fact that I should still have been able to have a relationship with MY sons. Forbid that you might lose your job one day or become disabled and have everyone slam you down.

3. 
   kevin Feb 26th, 2010 at 04:02:40

   This will be last response…but to clarify…I NEVER said anything mean or spiteful about hime being adopted…I absolutely did tell him that he could get a job at McDonald’s to provide for “his boys.” Instead of finding “under the table” jobs to “hide” from supporting them. It is “absolutely” is about money, when there has to be food on the table, a shelter over their head, clothes on thier body and a warm bed to sleep in. They are “your boys” because you are their “biological” father, but I was their “dad” for several years and provided for them financially and emotionally. When the judge threw you in jail, you told him you couldn’t the pay child support because you had to pay for your car and insurance. What about taking care of your financial obligations to “your boys?” You are crating this facade because you regret your dead’beat ways and can’t go back in time to change. You have to wake up and look yourself in the mirror everyday. Creating this fantasy world will not change reality only your perception of the “truth.” I will never forget the “1″ time you came to pick up the boys in about 18 months and you asked me “what should I do with them?” Are you kidding me, you haven’t seen them in 18 months and you ask what do you with them. You “love” them Brian, that’s what you do, you love them. But you love them from the heart, not create a website pretending that you love them and have been denied from seeing them. There are laws that are in place to allow a parent to see their children, just like to make a parent to provide for them. If you were “denied” access to them, why didn’t youtake her to court to see them? Because you didn’t care to. Many sacrifices have been made by people to care for those boys over the years, by many, but you. Have a good life in your fantasy world, and good luck, you need it!

4. 
   Lena Trondson Feb 26th, 2010 at 06:02:06

   Kevin,

   yes you did say something about Brian being adopted. I read the email myself and witnessed the reaction. You were also the one who asked Brian why he was calling the boys on their birthday because he hadn’t paid child support. I sat right by him when he made that phone call. Brian has never once during the time I have been with him held a job under the table – what do you not understand by the term disabled and unable to work? He received $1,097/month from the Veteran Affairs for many years as his only means of living. For years, I have been the only one able to make a living so that Brian and I could have a roof over our heads, a warm bed to sleep in, and food on the table. Which has been very difficult I must say. But I guess we both deserved to be homeless, sleep on the concrete, and have no food to eat. We sent whatever we could but Heather responded that she was receiving money elsewhere and wasn’t going to accept money from Brian. She would try to take his parental rights away if he kept sending money. Heather has been aware of every address that we have lived at but shown no interest in contacting us. I am not sure how much you know and are aware of the last few years and what we have done and worked for the boys, but obviously you are not completely aware of our efforts. I can send you a diary of every attempt and effort made on our part to talk to Heather and the boys, every time we offered to send some money, and when we sent things for the boys.. Yes, mistakes were done by Brian including the two of you. Yes, you and many others have provided for the boys and not once have we claimed otherwise, but you know absolutely nothing about the life and struggles that Brian and I have had for the last 7-8 years. Regarding visitation, how can you go to court and pay for an attorney when you make about $1,000/month and can’t afford child support? Even if he would have attained an attorney, you would have turned around and claimed that he rather spend money on an attorney than provide for his children. During the time I have been with Brian, we called Heather repeatedly over the years to try and make some payments that we were able to and ask about the boys….not a single phone call was returned. I can provide you with the phone bills since I saved them. We tried to send cards and presents during the years for the boys, but not once did Heather acknowledge ever receiving anything. I also took pictures of this in case it would ever be challenged. Of course, no one will ever be able to change the past! But according to you, Brian doesn’t deserve a second chance and the unfortunate situation his unemployment and disability caused was of no control of his own. How can you speak of Brian’s love for his children? It would be as if I spoke about your love for your daughter…if you had not seen your daughter in 18 months and didn’t know about any of her preferences or favorite things to do, wouldn’t you have asked what to do with her???? Then again, its not fair to speak of how you would act or think in a certain situation since I have not walked in your shoes. Our website is ours and contains experiences and stories from our perspective and how we felt that we were treated. It doesn’t make it any more warped than your perception. I assume your nightly phone call to us making an apology was not worth the words you spoke. I remember that phone call as well since I sat next to him during your conversation. You are lucky that you are healthy, able to make a good living, and have a support net to help you if you would need it. Not everyone can say the same.

   Lena

5. 
   Lena Trondson Jun 19th, 2010 at 01:06:14

   Kevin,
   I probably should just avoid writing another response but the more I think about this, the more I feel compelled to respond. I am thinking a lot about some of the statements you made such as; “They are “your boys” because you are their “biological” father, but I was their “dad” for several years and provided for them financially and emotionally.” The reason you took over the role as their “dad” is because you got involved with a married woman with a family in the first place and took them away to your home state without any regards to how it would affect the relationship with their biological father. You also believed every statement that your new girlfriend made about her marriage. You and your girlfriend’s family threatened to use violence against the biological father if he showed his face; you were one of many culprits in distancing his children from him and preventing a healthy cooperation between a family of four. In the process, you gained more rights, influence, and time over his children. It’s obvious you had more opportunities to provide for them both emotionally and financially. You made that choice and you took that choice away from him.
   In addition, your statement “When the judge threw you in jail, you told him you couldn’t the pay child support because you had to pay for your car and insurance,” how is someone suppose to make a living when it’s almost a necessity to have your own transportation (unless you live in an area with great public transportation) to make a living? It’s not as if he didn’t pay any support at all but merely failed at paying the full amount of support for one month. How about trying to work out a solution with your step-children’s father instead of being anal and narrow-minded?
   Furthermore, you state “You are crating this facade because you regret your dead’beat ways and can’t go back in time to change “ but you did participate in the creation of a “dead-beat” dad by not promoting a relationship with his sons. Do you honestly believe that sending a father to jail for a mere $285 will benefit him, or his children? Did you consult Brian when you and your wife decided to move to your home state because it would benefit you? Brian accepted the assignment in Florida because it was closer than accepting an assignment to go to Alaska. It’s not as if he had the choice of going wherever he wanted to go. For the record, Heather only managed to get sole custody of the boys due to Brian’s military service and the frequency and time of length of his deployments. It is a relief to know that the law makers are finally realizing that it is un-constitutional to take away a non-custodial parent’s legal right to make decisions in their children’s lives just because they swore an oath to protect his/her country. Also, did you know that when Brian drove the 6 hour drive to South Carolina to see the boys only to be told by Heather that the boys couldn’t see him because they were busy doing something with you? He had to spend a weekend in South Carolina without ever seeing his sons… I recall you approaching Brian in 2002 on the phone in regards to adopting his sons…how is that not facilitating in the creation of a “dead-beat” dad? You never wanted him to be a part of their lives. I would define Brian as an “un-wanted” dad rather than a “dead-beat” dad.
   “There are laws that are in place to allow a parent to see their children, just like to make a parent to provide for them. If you were “denied” access to them, why didn’t youtake her to court to see them?” We tried to have you guys register the court order in New York in 2002 because South Carolina refused to enforce the order because you moved out of the state. We were in touch with many legal entities in New York, Florida, South Carolina to find out how to modify the court ordered support and visitation. We were told by many attorneys’ including the Child Support Enforcement Agency in New York that the custodial parent should register an out-of-state court order within a certain amount of time after moving there. Brian would have had to hire an attorney to try to have it modified or enforced. It is very difficult to hire an attorney when you have absolutely no income, wouldn’t you say? The reason that this is now finally going to court is only due to Brian’s efforts of demanding to solve this chaos. He walked into the Child Support Enforcement Agency in North Dakota to demand them to solve this. One lady was nice enough to sit down with him and then contacted the state of New York to see if he could be awarded a child support/visitation order to be enforced in New York. For the record, no one in this office had ever met a non-custodial parent that is behind in child support walking into their office asking to do what the custodial parent should be doing!!
   “Have a good life in your fantasy world, and good luck, you need it!” If you would ever have taken the time to sit down and talk to Brian as adults and as fathers, you would have known all this. We tried to reason with you in October of 2002 by sending a proposal and a letter that explained this to you and Heather. Neither one of you responded back to us. You never once made an effort of initiating a discussion with us. This “fantasy” world that you are referring to only exist in your head but the sad part is that you shared this “fantasy” world with his sons without even having the proper facts or truth. I am sorry that I ever believed your apology to Brian after your separation from Heather. It speaks more volumes of you than it does Brian. It must be great to feel no guilt or shame for participating in the separation of children from their biological parent because it is more convenient for you.

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