Indigent
in·di·gent
–adjective
lacking food, clothing, and other necessities of life because of poverty; needy; poor; impoverished.
I was recently told that we were making a person (who will remain unnamed) indigent due to our actions of filing a petition for child support modification and filing for a petition for visitation and contempt of visitation. I was also told that we were horrible people for doing so. How is it possible to make someone who will receive monthly payments of child support AND establish a relationship between the children and their biological father poor or impoverished? Wouldn’t it actually make that person better off? … can anyone make sense of that statement … Perhaps it’s of concern from years of misconstrued and faulty stories; the children were told that their biological father didn’t care about them, that he fled the country in order to avoid child support payments, and that the person was subjected to domestic violence when in reality none of it was actually true?!! The fact of the matter, the children were denied a continuous relationship with their biological father when the custodial parent decided to move to another state far from the non-custodial parent with her new husband without ever notifying the courts… and giving the non-custodial parent only days notification. The biological father never fled the country but tried to move on with his life with his new wife after becoming disabled, unemployed, and among many things told to not call his children on their birthdays. He was even confronted by the custodial parent if her new husband could adopt their children! All efforts of negotiations and proposals were left unanswered by the custodial parent. Over the course of the next 5-6 years, the non-custodial parent tried to contact the custodial parent repeatedly and even offered to have her call him back collect….with no response. The non-custodial parent was never given an acknowledgment if cards and presents that were sent was ever received…and never received any direct information about several moves, or news of the life of his children. Not once did the non-custodial parent receive a call from his children on father’s day or any holidays… At one point, the non-custodial parent received a phone call in the middle of the night from the custodial parent’s second husband. He was very apologetic for having treated him badly during his marriage to the custodial parent and said that they had treated him unfairly. He acknowledged the fact that the non-custodial parent had been right about the manipulative personality from the custodial parent in the past. He also expressed concern for the children. The custodial parent had a history of accusing people of domestic violence but in reality, she pulled out a knife and threatened people because she couldn’t stay out late as a teenager. When she was overpowered, and people tried to remove the knife, she called the authorities claiming she was abused. Other claims involved demanding the custodial parent to drive and get diapers in the middle of the night when they were intoxicated. When told they should not be driving intoxicated, the person started spitting and violently protesting. When she was held off, she yet again claimed abuse. The courts couldn’t find any evidence of this and no police reports were ever filed. Perhaps the best option would have been to simply walk away and none of it would have created such chaos and accusations. In hindsight, the best road taken would have been to not give up. In hindsight, the best course of action would have been to stay and fight for a relationship with the children despite the difficulties. What’s really tragic is the fact that the non-custodial parent did make efforts to contact the children and the custodial parent about having some sort of contact. This was denied with statements of him never being a father but simply a sperm donor and that the children didn’t want any contact or relationship with their biological father. Somehow, that is very hard to believe. How can young children make that decision if they were never told that the custodial parent tried to contact them and that he never willingly left them? We can take comfort in knowing that the children will someday want to learn the truth about their biological father. It is in human nature to want to know where you come from…this coming from someone who has been adopted and knowing people that has never had any contact with their biological parents. We will be standing there with open arms!
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Lena really get yourself together. You dont know what you are talking about. You are farting a bunch of hot air. You come off like an idiot. Indignant? Yes i had no other choice but to collect welfare, because you and Brian were losers. REALLY get over yourselves! You are both horriale people, if u want to repent go to church, not bitch about having to pay child support. I am so sorry i bothered u with my childrens needs. Lena, u and Brian are a matched set of crazy. So i wish u an awesome life mental illness together.
In your response, you stated that our attempt to make you indignant by filing for visitation and petition for child support payments (present tense). Yes, we did have issues making payments of child support in the past, and it is no secret. Just read previous posts. Not once have we hidden the fact that Brian has been unemployed or disabled and unable to pay support according to the initial court order from 2001. We have stated over and over again about our struggles to come to an agreement with you pending health care issues and financial issues with NO willingness on your part. Furthermore, you never once in your response, asked for help regarding the childrens needs but more sarcastically and rude claimed that Brian was an irresponsible parent unwilling to assist in their well-being. I do remember an email from less than a year ago stating that you could send the bills to us and we would pay half of the cost. We never did receive them in the mail and never have received any mail or phone calls from you in the past 7 years. How does that make us horrible people?!
Heather, I don’t know what I did to you to make you dedicate your life to being the way you are. The one thing I do know is that the decision was yours to be unfaithful and make numerous lies to me and Kevin. While deployed in the military you decided to be unfaithful and tell your lover that we had been separated for over 6 months when in fact we were still living together. Is that why you hate me so much, because I found out and wouldn’t tolerate you sleeping with another man while living off me? I was injured in the military from operations overseas and was medically discharged from the military. You got so upset that I had zero income and couldn’t pay the support you wanted. I filed the proper papers with the court but was turned down because you moved to the state you currently live in. I contacted that state and was told it was your responsibility to file with the court to have the order transferred and I would not be allowed to do it unless I hired an attorney from your state. You knew that if you transferred the support/visitation case that you would get very little money because I was unemployable. I am sure it was just another of your mental game with me to have something to hold over my head and claim I owe all this support. I have done my part over the years, I tried to visit with my boys only to be turned away and have you play mental games with me. Your claim was that if I was unable to pay you the amount you wanted then you would withhold my visitation rights. Your husband at the time seems to be very unaware of some things you were doing behind his back because he makes statements that are very inaccurate in regards to my visitation attempts. Being unemployable with no income makes it very difficult to travel over 1,300 miles to see my kids. It was impossible on my income. I had to live off people for a few years until the Veterans Administration got around to approving my claim for disability. Once that happened I contacted you and offered to start making payment, you declined and said you rather I be out of their life and would refuse to cash any checks I sent. Then when I got Social Security disability, I made sure that they had my sons information so they would give them the benefits they deserve, benefits that I had been unable to provide because I couldn’t work. You tried to refuse those also at first but the sound of the $18,000 and a monthly payment was just too much for you. I am sure you didn’t bother telling anyone that I got that for my sons while still being unemployed and living on disability. I decided that your actions and your persistence to keep me out of my sons life needed to come to and end. I made payments to you directly but you told me to mail them to an address for a restaurant rather than your home address. I was tired of these games so I decided to demand something get done to resolve the chaos involving support and visitation. From the day I caught you cheating on me you have done nothing to make sure those kids have a relationship with their father. You instead have done everything to make sure I am unable to see them and continue to do so. Your only concern has been how much money you can get. I was awarded a child support case to be registered in your state and will continue to the next step of getting the visitation order put into place. I thought for years that I could work with you and that you would want our sons to know who I am. I was sadly mistaken and refused to accept it. I made mistakes in our marriage and you did too. Why be selfish and hold my sons over my head as a punishment rather than give them a chance of knowing who their father is? The only thing you keep going back to is the time when I didn’t pay child support. You are still stuck on that and to this day that is your defense for your actions. I am doing the right thing and will continue to do so. Why cant you do the same?